men.

 ~~~~~ visit the gender & sexuality page for related info ~~~~~

~~~~~ visit the gender & sexuality page for related info ~~~~~

Front page New York Times story, Sunday, June 7, 2015 on transgender children’s books: Transgender children’s books breaking a taboo, by Alexandra Alter

 

being in relationship.

5/16/17. consent matters! while a lot is rightly written about building a society based on consent in the face of rape culture, and this article offers ways to nurture that with our young children. that’s a vital relationship worth cultivating! let’s begin to teach our kids about consent!

12/6/16. i was pondering how the use of the prefix cis- is intended to undo the normativity of a sex/gender binary, and wondering what languaging to use around non-monogamous relationships. in other words, can we begin to be clear that monogamy does not have to be the norm. then this appeared in my feed: what if we thought of monogamy as a spectrum? (washingtonpost 2016/12/01)

2/10/16: a friend sent me a post about the so-called scientific difference between love and lust to see what i felt. i called bullshit! why are they polar opposites, i replied. this society needs boxes and control: bad/good, white/black, straight/gay, man/woman, establishment/outsider… i say both/and!

9/2/15: occurs to me that this might be a place where i post things about being in MY relationship(s). this is a word collage i made for jenny when she was in A Midsummer Night’s Dream at Shakespeare at Winedale. more about the process in online practices.

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going through old files and finding this book review—the brain in love—of Helen Fisher’s ‘why we love‘ is kinda cosmic, since now i’m explicitly focusing on relationships as my work, and also since i am now aware of her from the different perspective of ‘sex at dawn‘ authors and non-monogamy supporters Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jethá:

“It seems that Fisher, who shares our doubts about other aspects of the standard [monogamy] narrative, is about to reconfigure her arguments concerning the advent of long-term pair ponding and other aspects of human prehistory…. But Fisher balks… (p. 73) …Further hints of neo-Victorianism appear in Fisher’s description of the transition our ancestors made… Fisher assumes the advent of pair bonding four million years ago despite the absence of any supporting evidence. (p. 74) …We’ll show that husband/wife marriage and sexual monogamy are far from universal human behaviors, as she [Fisher] and others have argued…. They begin by assuming that long-term sexual monogamy forms the nucleus of the one and only natural, eternal human family structure and reason backwards from there. …” (p. 75)

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treat jealousy like asthma (reidaboutsex blog post)

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My June 15 blog entry about finding a one rather than the one raised issues of the manner we seek to build our relationships. Are we approaching love as a scarce commodity? Is there not enough to go around? Brené Brown has done some excellent work on the scarcity model.

in the works…

positive sex (an alternative human sexuality textbook co-authored with Susan Rahman, PhD.)

coming into the open (a creative journey through the process of moving into non-monogamy co-created with my spouse-for-life Jenny Jackson-Paton)